The Heavier Catapult 

The heavier catapult launches the plank off my eye. But sometimes its momentum carries to strike someone else. The impeding laughter from the tomato hitting the performer becomes the sonic wave that echoes in a shallowness of my sea. Where in our walk did we find time to clean up the mess in front of us only to leave it on the sands of another shore? 

Well, obviously I’ve found a way to do that again. And trust me, my excuses are endless. But Lord willing, would I learn to be patient and trust in Him? Please Sejin, it’ll save you a lot of trouble and pain. 

Going forward though, I won’t ever touch a long distance relationship with anyone else. Even being seven years removed from my last relationship doesn’t do the trick; if anything, I’ve been alone in my pursuits and insensitive to her needs; heck, I’m just a grown up with an only-child complex. I’m too impulsive and often need life-boat moments to carry me away from this sinking ship. 

So I validate that I’m not there yet. I steered into an iceberg that tested the heart of what fancied me in wanting to get to know her. But this same heart that raced in every thought of her is the same heart that that conditions me for marriage. It’s even funny that He would rekindle my heart in marriage because I was so unaltered all these long years by a wave alternate from love and family. 

So in deeper prayer, I can only anchor in what has opened up in 2017- that I love Him more than ever, and I plan to run at a pace that’s equal to my partner without making her feel that she’s running alone. If my prayers are sincere, I’ll wait for her to catch up and in due season, I’ll be on board again. 


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