The Amphibian’s Death

I booked a Pepsi gig recently, only to have left disappointed. Oh, did I mention that I did a fitting the day before and went through the same run through at the shoot only to be left out entirely- I won’t be in the ad and I won’t receive a heftier paycheck. I left bitter and sweetened my revenge to the casting gods in a losing attempt. “If I ever book Pepsi again… well what can get worse?”

That same day I gained advice from my beloved biblical and marine mentor, Daniel- what’s the difference between active and reserve duty? What are the benefits of becoming an officer? I was one physical away from completing the last portion for enlistment to the US army. Instead, I failed the over-the-phone Korean test and now with my recruiter giving me a cold shoulder, it’s as if I never met the requirements for the MAVNI program to begin with. Citizenship, will you marry me?

I disregard articles that promote special international flights at dirt cheap rates, and I calmly toot via email that my agents should release me on options that hold me for jobs overseas. Germany, I wanted to go, and Braun thank you for even considering me.

I feel like I’m slighted at work- I’m doing as well as my coworkers yet my tip percentage is less. How much does 5% make a difference? It’s an average of $15-$25 a night. How many nights have gone by? PLENTY. What gets me to the next 5%? Countless consecutive nights of perfection – believe me, the ink of their reasons is drying out and the mental cord of “I QUIT” is only harnessed with prayers of godly sanctification.

Jesus, my feet are tired. My vision is impaired. The light that stretches below the pool of water wades my eyes to want to follow it, but I lose breath before I do. The water is warm and the air is cold. My body is tucked in, but my head peeks out. I envy the amphibian that plays on different terrain. It finds community in the comforts of its skin and decides to leave when the stench of its predators seep in. It’s a regular in its hometown and travels when its met with arrogance and deceit. It takes seafood on Monday and poultry on Tuesday allowing its menu to rarely hit repetition. The weight of Your glory sinks me and the droop of my flesh wants to get out. It’s the amphibian in me that wants to choose complaint over conditioning and luck over discipline. Oh, that amphibian needs to die. Jealously and anger grind too coarse and hate permeates too quickly from mind to heart to action. Jesus, take the scales off my soul, my amphibious entitlements, my burdens, and my right foot’s Plantar Fasciitis. Take everything.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s