Let’s Meat for Coffee

I’ve consumed a lot of meat this week. All-you-can-eat’s on two occasions and Wednesday night I went ham – no, ‘I went meat’ on expensive short ribs. All the while, I’m reconnecting with a Hyung who has shown me a lot of favor during my stay in NY- he’s in LA on some terms and HIS hyung flies in thereafter to rest with his fiance.

They’re into coffee. Alver in Korea is poppin’. With several floors occupying the heart of Gangnam, their presence is known and the scent of their beans attracts 5 THOUSAND customers on a given Saturday. That’s a lot of espresso and milk.

Each of our coffee and meal conversations included the subject line: “Sejin, come to Korea”. It wasn’t a remark they were willing to let go easily and it forced me to really investigate if I can go – yeah, there are barriers that prevent me from easily entering Korea and coming back.

For starters, I still hold my Korean citizenship, but I have papers indicating that I am exempt from mandatory military service until year 2027. By then, my age will be enough to tell my motherland that I’m too old to train militarily. But let’s say I really want to go now and want to avoid the military at the same time; there’s a way but it’s still complicated. If I’m to make any monetary profit during my time in Korea, I can’t stay past 60 days within one year. Yet that’s still enough for my Hyung’s to echo their commitment to help me when I come.

There’s a lot of strategy involved – but I’m telling the Lord to let the plans crumble if they aren’t appointed in His divine promise for His kingdom come in my life. Lord, you author in the most creative ways.

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The Present Sculpture

War and Death are the sculpted scenes within a kid’s head. Depression used to be a tool for him to combat against the joy of life- perhaps even the devil can fool a 7 year old child into thinking this way. Kid, the truth is that joy combats against the depression of life. Nevertheless, a chisel and hammer has repeatedly powered its way to shape his mind- it isn’t a sculpture that’s appropriate for the PG audience; it’s avant-garde and excessive- it’s the same influence that makes him throw temper tantrums from time to time. I’ve only seen it on video.

Today’s my first day nannying Christian. His mind runs faster than his lips are able to move- he’s always on an adventure and when he’s sitting down with my phone playing a game, he’s worried about the zombies attacking his botanical garden- I was hooked with the first edition when I was 22.

Christian isn’t the only name that I’ve been taking care of these days. There’s Andy, Ethan, Ian, Sol, and others who keep my weekdays busy at an after school and then there’s Michael who I private tutor for several hours weekly. So I’m back with the kids- my days of serving the youth at my church are indefinitely on hold- I like it the way it is these days as well.

Modeling and computer programming are also means of occupying my time; the Lord willing, I hope my brain can keep up with my looks, so that when the days of me standing in front of the camera are over, I can sit comfortably in front of a computer and design with robotic language. By then, I’m sure my kids will look at me and say they’re too embarrassed to go anywhere with me. But that’s the future. And this is now. Thanks Christian for spending time with me. Today was fun.

Prayers of the Floating Bubble

I had to type in a couple passwords before logging in once again. It has been 3 months since I’ve written what my brain has stored; there has been a lot of input but not much output. My prayers have scratched the surface of my bubble – I want it to pop; it’s floating in the air and it’s transparent- I hope I haven’t been hiding from God.

I slept and woke up (I’ll interject like this at times to continue the narration of my previous story). The pig felt a cool breeze flowing in and through his snout; as he inhaled his eyes opened. It was going to be a good day. His abs crunched and his left oblique hit the dirt. He rolled into an upright and mobile position from the momentum of the minor downhill angle. In his first step he caved his foot into a mango seed- his squeal sent him flying down the hill and back into the alert of being prey and predator.

The modeling industry makes me feel like prey and predator. I’m the prey of clients who don’t think I should be the attention of their images and I’m the predator of beauty everywhere I go. I didn’t think I’d sign with another agency in LA, but through a referral I’m now with LA Models. August hit hard – I had a lot of castings, but unfortunately none came to pass. Commercial auditions were on the horizon but the sunset had dawned on my chances too early.

A kid will continue to blow bubbles until the entire container is empty. Each breath is a different strength than the one before and the notes that it blows is a different shape than the one before. I have no control where my bubble will go, but in the fun of it, I will make it rise before it falls and try to chase after it with the swing of my hand. I want it to pop, Lord, I want it to pop.