I’m writing when I’m very insecure; I’ll get far in life.

Madmen’s cold brew has been sitting in my stomach for too long – I can’t fall asleep. Timothy Rosado, an emerging fashion photographer wants to develop me – he’s currently doing so for 3 models – all of which are females and only Somalia strikes me as that girl who can get signed in a heartbeat.

I do need to be developed though. My insecurities rise to the introduction of this next paragraph. I remember the night when I dove into that swimming pool. I still have an instagram pic to remind myself – the day before my accident I was sitting on the ledge of Grand Canyon; I took a selfie. The next night, I took a selfie; my nose was bandaged. I wonder when I’ll laser the scar off. I should have walked around with my nose shaded a little more than I did in the weeks following my injury. Now, I can I only a scar removal herbal cream that I purchased at Whole Foods. It should’ve been at its last squeeze by now. I was too lazy to take care of my face. Darn, why am I a model?

Luke 5 makes me think. Peter wasn’t fishing to catch itsy-bitsy sardines. No, he was catching Tilapia or the likes of fish that would make his time worthwhile. Jesus commands him to try again. I’m letting my nets down again – in this modeling industry I really have thoughts of going big or going home having caught nothing. I’m excited but also really sarcastic in response to my spirit telling me to stay in NY. “Oh, alright, I’ll let down my nets again”. Jesus, depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.

“Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men”.


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