Postcard #4

I may depart on March 22nd or April 22nd or any 22nd’s thereafter- each month being a temporary extension of my one way arrival on January 22nd. Currently there’s only about a 5% chance of an agency picking me up; with a tip from an advocate/successful designer in NY, she recommended that I go back to Wilhelmina and inquire the reasons for the initial “No” while believing that there may be the slightest change of their mind if they were to see me again- among a board of 8 agents they all have to push the red button- geez, imagine if participants on The Voice had to follow such strict guidelines – would anyone have a chance to succeed?

So, yes, the all forgiving 5% is what remains before my reasons to stay begin to differ from my original motive. I came positively thinking I’d be signed with ease or even more plainly that this is my market; but with 100% now dwindled to 5%- I’ll just be fortunate to reach a double digit percentage next week. Who calculated the 5%? Well, myself- but trust me, I’m not far off.

Am I a haircut away from garnering the attention of these agencies? A couple days prior, a 60 year old man approached me as he shut his locker in the men’s changing room and was on his way out the exit; he said with a slight Turkish accent, “You are a million dollar baby”. I couldn’t quite catch the phrase at first which then became his excitement to repeat a compliment that made me chuckle after he left. I happened to have my hair down with only a towel to remain private- Tarzan, yes, “Jungle Fever” with a middle-aged man, no. So, it probably isn’t my hair that can change the board’s vote to becoming an unanimous decision.

Wilhelmina LA did however engage a client to fly me out for a day’s shooting; Age of Man – a new brand that reminds me of a cross between Skingraft and Acne. I spent a good 24 hours in LA from Tuesday night to Thursday night’s midnight showing at the airport- the ticket was showing a connecting flight from LA to St. Paul to NYC; I drowned in sleep and couldn’t break drowsy eyes until that evening.

Beyond summary, here lies my strength. I had lain prostrate before searching words to write this post- with Kim Walker accompanying this time of intimacy, I sung His praises and prayed to search for things that are deeper; I repeated my vow to Him – that at any moment if He tells me to let go that I would and I would do it proudly- It’s His voice that draws my obedience; nothing has changed- He is who He is and I am who I am, not separating the two, but joining the two – now that’s 100%!

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