Postcard #4

I may depart on March 22nd or April 22nd or any 22nd’s thereafter- each month being a temporary extension of my one way arrival on January 22nd. Currently there’s only about a 5% chance of an agency picking me up; with a tip from an advocate/successful designer in NY, she recommended that I go back to Wilhelmina and inquire the reasons for the initial “No” while believing that there may be the slightest change of their mind if they were to see me again- among a board of 8 agents they all have to push the red button- geez, imagine if participants on The Voice had to follow such strict guidelines – would anyone have a chance to succeed?

So, yes, the all forgiving 5% is what remains before my reasons to stay begin to differ from my original motive. I came positively thinking I’d be signed with ease or even more plainly that this is my market; but with 100% now dwindled to 5%- I’ll just be fortunate to reach a double digit percentage next week. Who calculated the 5%? Well, myself- but trust me, I’m not far off.

Am I a haircut away from garnering the attention of these agencies? A couple days prior, a 60 year old man approached me as he shut his locker in the men’s changing room and was on his way out the exit; he said with a slight Turkish accent, “You are a million dollar baby”. I couldn’t quite catch the phrase at first which then became his excitement to repeat a compliment that made me chuckle after he left. I happened to have my hair down with only a towel to remain private- Tarzan, yes, “Jungle Fever” with a middle-aged man, no. So, it probably isn’t my hair that can change the board’s vote to becoming an unanimous decision.

Wilhelmina LA did however engage a client to fly me out for a day’s shooting; Age of Man – a new brand that reminds me of a cross between Skingraft and Acne. I spent a good 24 hours in LA from Tuesday night to Thursday night’s midnight showing at the airport- the ticket was showing a connecting flight from LA to St. Paul to NYC; I drowned in sleep and couldn’t break drowsy eyes until that evening.

Beyond summary, here lies my strength. I had lain prostrate before searching words to write this post- with Kim Walker accompanying this time of intimacy, I sung His praises and prayed to search for things that are deeper; I repeated my vow to Him – that at any moment if He tells me to let go that I would and I would do it proudly- It’s His voice that draws my obedience; nothing has changed- He is who He is and I am who I am, not separating the two, but joining the two – now that’s 100%!

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Postcard #3

I thought I’d hear by Friday, but I’ve had the weekend’s pleasure to understand the godly comfort of either yes or no. Wilhelmina NY, Soul, NY Models, have all passed on me; a quick note about Wilhelmina- transferring locations doesn’t necessarily mean a transfer of contracts – so, it’s the still the Porsche of agencies in LA, but I guess I’ll have to take the subway in NY. Having met, Request and Fusion earlier this week, I’m waiting on their responses and there is still Red, Adam,  Click, VNY, and DNA that may set up that initial meeting. I didn’t think it’d be this hard, but then again who am I to them and why would they care?

I attended Justice House of prayer’s worship and intercession Friday night- I think I will pin this event permanently during this 8pm-9:30pm time-slot. I’ve found another solid on Saturday’s – I played pick-up basketball with New Mercy, the church I’ve been checking out- there is the condition though that all players must attend church weekly- eh, I’m weighing the scales.  My current list for churches to visit are Metro, GCC, Catalyst Agape, and Redeemer- yes, in that order. So, my calves are still violently sore, and while Super Bowl Sunday was my body’s way of drawing itself onto the couch, it’s time to continue going to YMCA. The financial assistance from one location in the city brings down the membership to $67/monthly- darn, that’s what 30% off gets me. It’s more expensive out here!

Spiritually, I’m not so fueled from the messages I hear at New Mercy as I am through the constant refreshing of His word, worship, testimony and fellowship; physically, I’m getting stronger; mentally, I’m trying not to catch the weight of modeling because as the reality of news drops in my hands it’s been hurting, but rather modeling is merely a physical description of who I am, and in no way is it the definition of who God has created me to be. So good news or bad news this week, one thing remains- Him alone. With Him alone, I have the godly comfort of either Yes or No.

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