Seek and Find

Monday and Tuesday, I spent my time on the road with Dad the Driver and Mose the Helpful Hispanic as we helped a client move from L.A to S.F. I was once again left with the daunting task of finding forms of entertainment that would solidify a time well spent in the passenger seat. Without an AUX cable or an mp3 player or a CD player, I patronized the joy of my last option; “Thank God that I have the radio”. 700 pages into my Charles Spurgeon Sermon book, I wanted to steam through it or put my focus on the Lord into overdrive. Unsure of the relative boundaries of radio stations, I sought and found music that was pleasing to my soul. Along with the occasional bypass of the mile tagged freeway signs, I was again weirdly convinced that those who seek the Lord will find him. Just press “Seek” dial next to the FM/AM control and sure enough, I’d be singing to the likes of Hillsong and Chris Tomlin. From town to town and city to city, the hazy buzzing of unclarity reminded me once more to “Seek” and that I would “Find” a Christian channel either preaching or praising.

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This connection is deeper than singing along to songs that were lyrically all too familiar. It’s rather that in my former walk with God there was an ambiguity to my strides- one moment driven from the heights of emotional appeal, I would run with the Lord; next, the stock of my emotional market dropped and I felt as having lost my victory in the Lord. I carried a body language that was uninviting, and like a clashing cymbal, I was definitely walking to the ‘beat of a broken drum’. It was His grace that sought and found me first- that awakened me to a new sense that this radio station is not outplayed after all; it was just that I had not heard His lyrics- that the words that He were speaking over my life were constantly one ear and out the other. My vessel now is one that carries the “Seek” button; whenever I am placed in a difficult situation and the faint buzz of the devil’s whisper infiltrates my radio station, I’d be quick to say, “Lord, I seek you right now and find that you are with me. Thank you for the stillness of your voice that lovingly labels me as your own.”

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