Seek and Find

Monday and Tuesday, I spent my time on the road with Dad the Driver and Mose the Helpful Hispanic as we helped a client move from L.A to S.F. I was once again left with the daunting task of finding forms of entertainment that would solidify a time well spent in the passenger seat. Without an AUX cable or an mp3 player or a CD player, I patronized the joy of my last option; “Thank God that I have the radio”. 700 pages into my Charles Spurgeon Sermon book, I wanted to steam through it or put my focus on the Lord into overdrive. Unsure of the relative boundaries of radio stations, I sought and found music that was pleasing to my soul. Along with the occasional bypass of the mile tagged freeway signs, I was again weirdly convinced that those who seek the Lord will find him. Just press “Seek” dial next to the FM/AM control and sure enough, I’d be singing to the likes of Hillsong and Chris Tomlin. From town to town and city to city, the hazy buzzing of unclarity reminded me once more to “Seek” and that I would “Find” a Christian channel either preaching or praising.

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This connection is deeper than singing along to songs that were lyrically all too familiar. It’s rather that in my former walk with God there was an ambiguity to my strides- one moment driven from the heights of emotional appeal, I would run with the Lord; next, the stock of my emotional market dropped and I felt as having lost my victory in the Lord. I carried a body language that was uninviting, and like a clashing cymbal, I was definitely walking to the ‘beat of a broken drum’. It was His grace that sought and found me first- that awakened me to a new sense that this radio station is not outplayed after all; it was just that I had not heard His lyrics- that the words that He were speaking over my life were constantly one ear and out the other. My vessel now is one that carries the “Seek” button; whenever I am placed in a difficult situation and the faint buzz of the devil’s whisper infiltrates my radio station, I’d be quick to say, “Lord, I seek you right now and find that you are with me. Thank you for the stillness of your voice that lovingly labels me as your own.”

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Caffeine

3 AM blog posts aren’t the norm for me, but it’s because Caffeine and I got into a little conflict today- She tasted so good and I couldn’t resist not taking another sip. Earlier tonight, I visited Cafe Dulce’s GRAND opening located in between Grand and Hope street on 11th. In lieu of trusting my knowledge about my previous history with me and Caffeine, I indulged once more by asking for a Dulce Latte and finishing the remainder of my unambitious friend’s Americano. *I just clapped and killed another gnat; these things are monstrously annoying* Hence, with great people, inviting music, and a nice atmosphere, I put the Dulce Latte as the icing to my night. Go check the place out!

Falling asleep is an art. I’m sloppy at it. Unless I’m extremely physically tired, my thoughts run aimlessly pursuing primarily lust instead of actively recounting God’s blessings for me throughout the day. Monsters run through my head. It’s truly worthy to bow down to Jesus- I mean REALLY how did He remain perfect? Even His flesh did not bring down the worth of His soul- that He knew what He was worth- He was worth God’s all and there was no denying in Him that all meditation and actions would be the cause and effect of God’s love for Him. In other words, I think it is extremely disrespectful to think that Jesus EVER left His human form while He was on this earth. i.e Thinking back on his patience and endurance on the cross, many doubtful souls lean towards his other identity- that He must have been only God while His earthly presence took a breather- that as the weight of His upper body gravitated below the level of comfort, He wasn’t really suffocating because He was acting as God at this point.  He’s the first ‘superhero’ to not use his power when he was responsible for His own life. If “The Avengers” impacts your imagination, let Jesus transform mine. Yes, Lord impact my imagination and my thoughts to be Holy in your presence. Why is Caffeine the source of my late night thoughts? Why can’t I settle on you? May you be the provider of Holy thoughts- that I’d praise you for every new introduction: “Hi, I’m Sejin. Nice to meet you.” and to praise every blessing that you took time to conspire with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Aren’t you enough in my life? Even if Caffeine wants me awake through the night, may I give devotion to you- that through my thoughts, words, and demeanor I’d have no other train of thought- that the cold frosting Coors Light commercial would be second to my train wreck in you; I want to encounter you even if it means my thoughts that give attention to the world become wrecked.

Be my caffeine; Be all of my awareness, energy, and new life.